


The Meaning of Protection

by Hoverrain



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Child Abuse, Cliffhangers, Feels, Gen, I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good, I actually am sorry, I'm not sure if this should be rated T or M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Intermittent Explosive Disorder, Minor Nishinoya Yuu/Hinata Shouyou, Protection, Protective Siblings, Siblings, Slight NishiHina/NoyaHina, Violence, What Have I Done, and don't kill me, keep at the edge of your seats ladies and gentlemen, prepare tissues if you're sensitive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-09-17 01:09:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9297542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hoverrain/pseuds/Hoverrain
Summary: “Lock the door and don't come out until I say it's okay,” he said fiercely, and she obeyed him without a second thought, eyes wide.Her nii-chan has always protected her.





	1. Hinata Natsu

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry not sorry

**Chapter 1** \- Hinata Natsu **  
**

 

Hinata Natsu looks happily up at her father as they walk together into the volleyball tournament stadium. His face is set in a light scowl as he takes in the sight of the crowd, but she's undaunted and hums merrily as she swings her free arm by her side. Her eyes sparkle in excitement and she has a grin on her face as she thinks back to her brother's words. _“Shiratorizawa are the champions right now! If we take them down, nobody can call us the 'flightless crows' or 'fallen champions' anymore! We'll be the strongest in Miyagi! We can go to Nationals!”_ She still doesn't completely understand what he had meant by that, but Shou had been excited. The most excited he'd been since Kaa-chan died.

 

The grip otou-san has on her other hand suddenly turns a bit tight, but she makes sure to keep the smile on her face. Shou had told her that their father gets angry sometimes. He had said _“unstable,”_ but his tense expression had softened somewhat when she only gave him a confused look in return. Either way, her nii-chan had told her to keep from being too loud around their father, and she wouldn't let him down!

 

She remembers when she used to forget what Shou told her and said something without thinking. Their otou-san's face would suddenly twist.

He had looked down at her with so much disgust.

 

And sometimes it would be anger. It never failed to scare her, to frighten her into wide-eyed silence. But her nii-chan would always be there. He would block their father's fury from her sight, envelop her in his arms, and as she felt the warmth spread from her cheeks through her small body, she would know that she was safe.

 

Her determination keeps for the entire length of time it takes them to finally make their way inside before it melts into awestruck wonder as she looks down at the court from the bleachers. Otou-san leads her to sit in front row seats behind the Karasuno support section, and she immediately scans the black and orange uniforms below for a glimpse of her brother. A frown grows on her face as she continues to search, standing on her tip-toes to look directly beneath the railing's balcony.

 

"Otou-san, where's Shou? I don't see him...." She turns around to see him with his arms crossed over his broad chest. He doesn't respond to her, his leg jiggling up and down in growing impatience, and due to some inner sense that has developed ever since their father showed up at their doorstep a few months ago, she knows that this is not good. Falling quiet, Natsu turns back to the court in time to see Shouyou jog up to his teammates. Her eyes light up and she momentarily forgets her otou-san to wave a hand enthusiastically at her brother as she shouts his name.

\----------

Hinata Shouyou looks up in the direction of the stands as he hears his name being called by a familiar voice. Grinning brightly once he catches sight of Natsu, he waves back, laughing. Admiring the air of joy around his little sister, his eyes then slide to the figure behind her. He sobers upon seeing the expression their father has on, though he doesn't show it.

 

Shouyou takes care to maintain his sunny expression while his thoughts are anything but. Worried thoughts swirl around in his mind, making his anxiety levels spike even past his usual restlessness, and he feels like he's about to throw up for an entirely different reason than just a few minutes before. His breathing picks up more when he realizes that Natsu is currently out of his reach. He has to swallow down the frantic cry rising in his throat, and lowering his arm, he turns his back to the bleachers. _I have to protect Natsu. I have to protect her. I–_

 

He jumps when he feels an arm sling itself around his shoulders, and he looks over to see Nishinoya staring at him in slight concern.

“Shouyou, you okay? 'Cause I've called you, like, five times already.” Nishinoya leans closer, squinting at his underclassman's face. Shouyou forces himself to smile and laugh sheepishly, uncomfortable with the close scrutiny.

 

“Yeah! I'm fine, Nishinoya-senpai! Just the usual nervousness before games.” He resists the urge to peek a glance at Natsu, knowing that it would only raise suspicions from both Nishinoya and his father. Nishinoya sends him over to Yachi anyway, “Just to be sure,” he says with a grin, “we wouldn't want our ultimate decoy to get sick in the middle of the match!”

 

It's a small thing, but Shouyou feels his chest swell with gratitude and pride from Nishinoya's statement.

\----------

Shouyou lands on the floor, stumbling for a moment before his two feet manage to find their ground again. His hand stings from the last spike, and he watches the other team's libero dive for the ball in a futile attempt to save it, the sound of the ball bouncing on the floor magnified in the silent gymnasium.

 

The exhilaration rises up in him just as everyone else seems to realize what's happened, and he shivers despite being hot and sweaty from the game. Eyes wide, he only has moments to stand in disbelief before Tanaka barrels into him, pulling him and Kageyama into a tight hug, roaring victoriously. They crash in a heap on the ground, and other players pile on top of them, all screaming and crying in happiness.

 

Even Kageyama has a smile on his flushed face, and Shouyou can feel the tears rise to his own eyes as he hugs them back just as tightly, laughing out a sob as he revels in the feeling of victory. _We did it. We beat Shiratorizawa. We're going to Nationals!_

\----------

Natsu feels like her heart is about to burst by the time the whistle is blown, signaling the end of the game. Her tiny fists are clenched on the metal poles of the railing, and a laugh bubbles out of her open mouth. She had leapt to her feet when she saw her brother jump up, amongst the other black and orange figures. The slam of the ball down on the linoleum floors had become a familiar sound in the course of the long, five-set game, and finally, it was over!

 

She scrambles for the stairs heading down, only just looking back for a moment to yell for her otou-san. She doesn't waste any further time before she's making her way down to meet her brother, excitement guiding her feet. Her heart pounding, she pants as she stands in the wide entrance to the court below. She ignores the blonde haired man standing near her, who is clamoring to another man, “That's my brother right there! My brother!”

 

She sets her eyes on the Karasuno players, a beaming grin splitting her face when she spots a glimpse of orange under the entire pile.

“Nii-chan!!”

 

Shouyou struggles to prop himself up on his elbows at her voice, and the others roll to the side to let him pass as they help each other up, exchanging friendly banter all the while. Natsu runs to meet her brother halfway, throwing her arms up as an indication for him to pick her up. He chuckles before complying with her wish, though she can tell that he's still tired from the game. She laughs with childish glee as she goes up, up, up into the air, and she buries her face into the crook of his neck. Reveling in the presence of her nii-chan even in the sweat drenched uniform, a content smile replaces the grin on her face.

\----------

_Her nii-chan had always been there for her for as long as she could remember. Her first word had been “Shou,” a version of his name which he had beamed at from the very instant she uttered it those many years ago. He had clapped when she'd taken her first steps, caught her when she stumbled, and picked her up when she fell. He laughed bright words of comfort in her ear when she bawled over trivial issues, crying too loudly to even hear him._

 

_He was there when their kaa-chan had to work late nights, and there when she didn't return for the first time, because she would always return, except she didn't that one time. In front of the casket, she had asked Shou why their kaa-chan wouldn't move anymore, and as tears ran down his face, he cried, telling her, “She passed away in a car accident, Natsu. She's gone.” After the funeral, she never saw her kaa-chan again, and she didn't have to ask Shou why, because she saw it with her own eyes, one small hand clutching her nii-chan's, as the men hoisted shovels and buried their mother six feet under._

 

_When their father arrived on their doorstep a week later, she hid behind the legs of a subdued Shouyou, peeking out curiously at the man she had never seen before in her life. However, Shou had seemed to know him, a little. “Dad,” he'd called him, and Natsu was overjoyed, because she had never met her otou-san before. Kaa-chan and Nii-chan hadn't liked talking about him._

 

_He had been great for the first couple of days, taking her out to eat ice cream, playing with her as much as she'd wanted when she was lonely, since Shou was at school. Even Nii-chan had seemed to warm up after a while, despite still grieving at the loss of their mother. Then Otou-san changed one day, out of nowhere. It surprised her, and scared her a lot. But Shou hadn't seemed surprised._

 

_He had pulled her aside and told her to go into her room. “Lock the door and don't come out until I say it's okay,” he said fiercely, and she obeyed him without a second thought, eyes wide. As she ran up the stairs, she could hear Otou-san screaming, and Nii-chan trying to calm him down, before the door slams shut behind her and she quickly turns to twist the lock shut, leaning her back against it as she slides down to sit on the floor. There's a sudden silence that unnerves her, and she hears her otou-san ask something, in a much quieter, danger laced voice. What comes after makes her cover her ears and tremble as drops of tears roll down her face._

 

_It's half an hour later that there's a knock on the door and a whispered, “Natsu?” and she immediately whirls around to unlock the door, desperately clinging to her brother. Nii-chan's hand smoothing over her back and patting her head are comforting, but when she looks up to try and get a look at his face, a hand covers her eyes and blackens her vision before she can see anything._

 

“ _Nii-chan?”_

 

“ _Sorry, Natsu. I don't want you to see me like this.” The hand stays over her eyes as she feels him crouch down and gather her into his arms. She blinks when light comes back again, but all she can see is her nii-chan's back. She hears a small sob as Shou clutches her to him tighter, and when she tentatively crawls into his bed that night, he doesn't say anything, instead bringing the covers over her silently. Her nii-chan has always protected her._

 

_He isn't a knight in shining armor, but he is her hero, and she knows that she will always be safe, as long as her nii-chan is next to her._

\----------

“Natsu?” She looks up to see the smiling face of her brother. She flashes her teeth with a happy smile in response and is opening her mouth to say something when Shouyou's head snaps up and he visibly tenses, caught off guard. His smile has vanished, and his eyes are wide as his arms tighten where they're propping her up.

 

“Shouyou.” Natsu doesn't have to turn around to recognize their father's voice, “Good game. Congratulations on the win.” It sounds gruff, worked out through an unwilling throat.

 

“Thanks, Dad.” She sees Nii-chan's friends exchange slightly confused looks at the wary tone of voice as Shou bends to lower her back down onto the ground. When she's standing solidly on her own two feet, he turns to stare at a spot over their otou-san's shoulder.

 

“Natsu? How did you like the game?” With the attention suddenly on her, she blinks before answering Otou-san enthusiastically.

“It was awesome! Shou went like, _gwahhh_ and _baam_ and the other person in orange was really cool too! He never jumped up to spike, but whenever the ball was about to drop, _whooosh_ and he was there and the ball would go up! They were all really, really cool!” Her eyes sparkle in admiration and she can hear a raucous voice in the background going, _“That's me! She's talking about me! Am I the best senpai or what!?”_

 

There's a moment when their otou-san's face almost softens, and she's quiet for moment before adding on meekly,

 

“I wish Kaa-chan was here too.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 **Nii-chan** means 'brother'. The honorific '-chan' is used for affection, and the absence of the 'O' in 'Onii-chan' is for informality.

 **Kaa-chan** means 'mother'. Same thing as 'Nii-chan' for honorific and absence of 'O' in 'Okaa-san'.

 **Otou-san** means 'father'. The 'san' and 'Otou' tells you that Natsu is more formal with their father.

 

I had Shouyou refer to their father as 'Dad' instead of 'Otou-san' like Natsu does because it seems more formal and like he's trying to keep his distance while maintaining his personality, which likes to interact with others informally.


	2. Hinata Shouyou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some past is revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up, there are even more feels than Chap 1 so...INCOMING!! Enjoy and sorry for the wait, I hope this delivers! \\(•◡•)/
> 
> EDIT 3/6: I changed the ending because the previous one just didn't feel satisfying to me, so for the readers who read it 3/5 when Chap 2 was uploaded, please take note of that (it doesn't affect the plot, but I hope you like this revised version better as well)!

**Chapter 2** – Hinata Shouyou

 

Things happen too fast for Natsu to properly process it all at once. Otou-san's face changes in a flash, contorting itself into grotesque rage. She only has a moment to regret what she said before Nii-chan is stepping forward, his back in front of her. His face is pale as he casts a frantic glance over his shoulder towards her.

“Natsu, go–” he's cut off as Otou-san's foot slams forcefully into his side. There's a sickening thud and Natsu shrieks as her nii-chan is thrown aside onto the floor next to her, though he doesn't do more than choke out a gasp of pain.

Whimpering out a small cry, she finds that her feet won't move, even when a shadow approaches and she slowly looks up to see Otou-san towering over her.

 

“Do not mention your mother in my presence.”

 

He snarls as he stares down his nose at her, and disgust is painted into every crease of his face. Natsu tries to take a step backward, but the shaking of her legs makes her stumble and land on her bottom. The sides of her mouth turn down and she begins to sob in earnest as she closes her eyes, placing her palms over them in an attempt to block out the horrifying figure of her otou-san looming above her.

\----------

Shouyou grits his teeth in pain. That kick had landed right on a bruise from just a few days ago. His father's voice swims in and out of focus as he struggles to remain conscious. His limbs feel heavy from the utter exhaustion in his body after winning against Shiratorizawa, and the kick hadn't really helped.

“You were the reason why she left me! You–”

Gripping his side, he looks up and reels from the horror of seeing Natsu bowed in front of the man that was supposed to protect them. _What are you doing, Natsu?! Run!_

\----------

_Shouyou opens the door to find a familiar figure standing on the doorstep. Eying his father, he widens his stance in an attempt to cover Natsu, who's peeking out from behind his legs in curiosity. The man hadn't changed at all over the years. His muscular build combined with his height intimidated anyone who didn't know him, and even ones that did know him._

 

“ _Dad.”_

 

_Behind him, he can feel Natsu give a start of excitement. She wouldn't remember their father. She had been barely more than an infant when they finally broke free of his clutches. He still remembered the innocent question she had asked him at five years old, when she was finally old enough to question the lack of a father figure in her life. “How come we don't have a dad?”_

_If it had been up to him, he wouldn't have let this man come anywhere near Natsu._

 

“ _Hello, Shouyou. How have you been?” Shouyou's eyes widen briefly in surprise at the genial greeting before narrowing again. He would never forgive himself if Natsu got hurt because he let his guard down. He nudges Natsu in an attempt to make her back up. She doesn't budge._

 

“ _Fine.”_

 

“ _That's good to hear. Is...this your sister?”_

\----------

It's then that he notices she's crying. _Oh, hell no. Nobody makes my baby sister cry._ Forcing a few deep breaths through his lungs, he then propels himself to his feet in one swift motion. His knees almost buckle again from his (probably) bruised ribs, but he manages to lurch forward in time to catch the next kick, this time aimed at Natsu. Clutching onto his father's leg, he screams for Natsu to run.

 

He just manages to see her jerk out of her stupor at his voice, scrambling up, before his hair is caught in an iron grip, and he yelps, tears rising to his eyes at the pain. He's swung around from the grasp his father has on his hair, and instead of reaching up to try peeling off the giant hand, like he did the first few times it happened, he crosses his arms over his face, bracing himself with tightly closed eyes.

 

It's a grim thought, and maybe a messed up way of thinking, but he's glad that he's had enough experience to learn what to expect. _At least Natsu is safe._

“You piece of sh-” A bent knee slams into his arms, and despite the slightly cushioned impact, Shouyou can feel the blood start to drip from his nose. He has a feeling that there will be bruises on his arms tomorrow. _Maybe I can play it off as a result of my sucky receives again._ He absently wonders as his head is yanked back, foggy eyes squinting at the ceiling of the tournament gymnasium. The lights are blinding.

\----------

Natsu flinches as wind rushes past her and Nii-chan screams for her to run. Sniffling, she scrambles to her feet and takes off in the direction of the Karasuno team. As she gets closer, she can see that they haven't moved an inch from their place since the congratulatory huddle. They're frozen, as if they can't comprehend what's happening right in front of them.

A few eyes move to her as she makes her way towards them, and she can see the exact moment when the dawning revelation finally clicks into place in their eyes.

Anger flashes in several faces, and number 9 sprints past her, closely followed by 4 and 5. If she remembers correctly, the latter two were the ones who were really loud during the game. They were silent now, and she could practically feel their fury, along with the scary looking one. Footsteps pound on the polished wooden floor.

 

“Wait–Tanaka, Nishinoya, Kageyama!” Their captain calls after them, but the admonishment was half-hearted, and he also runs past her with evident anger at what he was bearing witness to. Natsu continues, scared for her brother and herself. The silver haired one sporting a number 2 on his uniform crouches down and opens his arms to her with a friendly smile, the inviting expression only clouded by the worry and concern he has for his teammates.

 

“Natsu-chan, right? It'll be okay, don't worry. We'll take care of this, and Hinata will be fine, alright? Don't cry.” The kind tone only serves to renew her sobs, and she runs into the hug, seeking comfort in the familiar gesture.

“Nii-chan––Shou, he–he'll be okay?”

“Mmhn. He'll be okay, Natsu-chan. I promise.” _I hope._

\----------

Shouyou is slammed head first into the floor, the floor trembling from the force in which his father had put behind the action. A drop of what he thinks is probably blood trickles down from his forehead, and he dazedly registers a throbbing pain blossoming from some point up...somewhere. It was really getting very hard to think. He grimaces as the pull on his hair tightens again, and the action causes his teeth to scrape against his lip, which he now realizes is split, if the brief stab of pain says anything.

However, despite what he expects next from his father, the pressure on his skull loosens and then releases completely as there's the sound of a blow; a punch thrown. A shout of rage is uttered before an impact shakes the floor, and a voice he recognizes as his father's roars with all the ferocity of a bomb.

 

Sneakers squeak harshly to a stop beside his head, and the owner takes another small step towards the conflict before letting out an aggravated growl. They abruptly crouch down beside him, their knees coming into view. Orange shorts and black knee-pads swim into his vision as there's another squeak from the sneakers–white with red lines. Like his. _Nishinoya-senpai?_

“Shouyou–hold on, you're gonna be fine–,” hands dart over him uncertainly as the harried voice carries on, “I–Jesus–what the fuck do I even do in a situation like this–”

Shouyou almost laughs. Out of all people, Nishinoya somehow not knowing what to do and being uncertain was hilarious. Scary and unbelievable. _That's right. I'm at a game. There's no way to come up with an excuse for this._

 

“Nishinoya!” Another voice enters. A sudden bout of dizziness hits Shouyou, nausea stirring in his stomach, and the feeling is familiar enough to alarm him, even in his frazzled state.

“Daichi-san! Thank god, I–can I move Shouyou–? He's–!”

“First, calm down. You can't help Hinata if you're panicking yourself.”

 

There's a moment where all he hears is harsh breathing before fingers tap his shoulders. Shouyou blinks open eyes that he hadn't even realized were closing to look up at his team captain. Even though the form is blurred, the presence beside him is as steady and unshakable as ever.

“Hinata? Can you hear me? I need you to stay awake.” Shouyou doesn't think that's likely, but he would definitely try, if only to assure his team members that he's okay.

There's some more movement, and the murmur of conversation over his head drops as one party leaves. There are sounds of a struggle in the background, and a constant voice is saying, _“Stay awake, Shouy...st...wake!”_ but he's not exactly sure who's speaking or who is being spoken to.

 

_Shouyou?_

\----------

“ _Give my back my wife– you little_ _bastards,_ _ **give me back my wife**_ _!” The guttural snarl echoes down the hall back to him even as his father is hauled away by the authorities. Shouyou's eyes fly open._

 

Shouyou sits up with a gasp, hand moving to clutch at the cloth over his chest as his heart pounds. Eyes darting around wildly to take in his surroundings, he almost jumps out of the bed he's in when he catches sight of a dark figure sitting in a corner of the room.

Biting down on his lip hard, he shoves himself backward until he's leaning against soft pillows. He instinctively looks around for Natsu in skittish terror, breath catching when he doesn't find her. Fingers fist themselves into the bed covers, an unconscious reaction to ground himself.

 

“Shouyou?” A drowsy murmur makes him startle so badly he just barely avoids hitting the headstand. A warm hand is placed on his trembling arm, and his head snaps to his left side so fast he swears he hears the bones in his neck pop.

He stares incomprehensibly at the familiar face as he slowly takes in the soft _beep...beep...beep..._ of the heart monitor in what he now realizes is a hospital room. He lets himself focus on the monotonous noise, feeling his heart ease back into some semblance of a normal beat. Chancing another look at the shadowed figure in the corner, he narrows his eyes and blinks in surprise when he finally makes out the person slumped in a chair, sleeping. _Kageyama? What's he doing here?_

“He was worried about you,” Nishinoya says, continuing when Shouyou turns his attention back to him, “we all were.

“Seeing one of your friends get beaten like that right in front of your eyes is...scary.”

 

Whatever Shouyou had expected, that wasn't it.

“My...dad scares pretty much anyone who meets him. It's nothing uncommon.” Shouyou forces a smile, though it's strained in the face of Nishinoya's unusually serious expression, rarely seen outside of games.

“I'm not talking about your dad, Shouyou. I'm talking about you. We're worried about you, you're the one that got beat up, you're the one that's in the hospital right now, you're the one that–that has an abusive dad!” Nishinoya's suddenly standing, tension clear in his shoulders and the clenched fists by his sides. An abrupt hush falls over the room, which now feels too small, the silence suffocating.

 

“Why didn't you ever tell us...?” Shouyou finally raises his head to look his friend in the eyes at the cracked whisper, and he instantly regrets it.

Nishinoya's face is twisted from the concern, sadness and rage evident in his eyes. But ultimately, it's the pain that truly hits him, wringing his heart. Hurt that Shouyou hadn't told them and blame that he hadn't been able to help his underclassman. Shame that he'd never noticed.

Shouyou averts his gaze guiltily, closing himself off from the onslaught of emotions.

This was why he had never had many friends before Izumin and Kouji, despite his natural outgoing nature. He was _different_. He wasn't a dumb kid, despite what others might have thought.

It was only when he began attending Yukigaoka Junior High that he'd been able to open up his world and confirm that not all families were like his. That he didn't _deserve_ to be punished. Natsu had been one year old then.

 

_Why didn't you tell us?_

 

How could he have? It would've meant that he'd be different again, that he'd be an abnormality. And he can't take that. Not from people that have made it this far into his heart.

When he doesn't answer, Nishinoya sighs, though it's more out of resignation than frustration, as if he had expected this kind of reply. “The sentence on your dad is being discussed in the police station right now. Hopefully they can come to a quick decision, but if it drags on, the case might have to be moved to the court.”

 

Shouyou chuckles humourlessly. “As if that's going to do anything,” he says, tone turning bitter. “It didn't keep him away for long, did it?”

There's a beat of silence and Shouyou turns to gauge his upperclassman's reaction, an odd half smile on his face. Nishinoya is pale, his expression displaying his rising horror. He stumbles a bit before sitting back down in his chair roughly. Hands squeeze his knees in a white-knuckled grip.

“Shouyou, how long has this been going on for?”

The aforementioned boy muses at his friend for a moment, detached from conversation and still with a small smile on his face. Shouyou, in some part of his mind, admits that he would be scared to see himself right now.

 

“Long enough.” _This isn't me!_ He wants to scream. However, it's as if he's watching a head-on car crash from the back seat. Close enough to be alarmed, but not enough to do anything about it. He can't control the car; he's the passenger in his own body. _What's_ _ **wrong**_ _with me?_

“Shouyou!” The usually exuberant voice is desperate. _This is what caring does to you._ A voice whispers treacherously in Shouyou's head. He shakes his head, trying to ignore that train of thought in favor of the one urging him to assure Noya-san that he's alright, that ~~_I'm alright_~~ but he's not he's not he's not and _help me, please_ _help me–_

 

“Where's Natsu?” He asks edgily instead, avoiding the cannonball of a question. He pretends not to notice the flash of hurt that makes it across Nishinoya's face, the tears in his eyes. His face crumples, as if he's about to break down any minute, shouldering Shouyou's weight of despair for him.

“She's with Sugawara-san,” a new voice joins in their conversation, making both Shouyou and Nishinoya jump. Kageyama is awake and up, a dark frown on his face as he stares at Shouyou. It sharpens into a glower that makes the latter flinch before returning the expression, unwilling to back down from a challenge. “But that's not the problem right now.

 

“Why are you pushing us away? Stop being such a dumbass, you dumbass. Weren't you the one that said, _everyone on this side of the net is our ally_? Then why are you shoving away anyone that can possibly help?! I care! We ALL care! Stop trying to do everything by yourself! You're being so selfish!”

Chest heaving from his rant, Kageyama shoots Shouyou another heated glare–ignoring the stunned expression–before curtly turning to Nishinoya and executing a slight bow, determinedly burning holes into the ground.

 

“Please deal with this idiot for me, Nishinoya-san.” The request is stiff, still obviously laced with displeasure. Nishinoya nods nonetheless. With that, Kageyama turns to leave, pausing at the door for a barely noticeable moment.

Muttering a small, _“Please take care of him,”_ he then storms out of the room as if the pause had never happened. The whisper goes unnoticed by Shouyou, but Nishinoya's eyes widen.

Shouyou gapes after Kageyama even as the door closes, unused to experiencing such a strong reaction from him outside of volleyball. A scrape draws his attention back to Nishinoya, who's moved from his chair to join Shouyou on the hospital bed, sitting cross-legged on the blankets.

 

“That's how it is,” the older boy says, looking at him solemnly. “You don't have to do this alone––or rather, we're not _letting_ you do it alone.”

 

Shouyou can feel himself tearing up from the combined stress of his inner conflict and Kageyama's outburst. He tries to will back the tears in his eyes, but it seems like nothing is going the way he wants them to today. There's an uncomfortable lump in his throat, and his bottom lip starts to tremble as his eyes glass over.

“I...-” He manages to choke out, but nothing else. His sight is clouding, and Nishinoya's figure grows blurred as he blinks to let the tears roll down his cheeks in wet streaks that grow cold against the blood rising to his face.

His eyes shut in reflex as the other leans forward, wrapping his arms around him in an encompassing hug. Shouyou nestles closer to the source of warmth after a hesitant moment, fingers winding into the cloth over Nishinoya's chest. A hand is placed on the back of his head to tuck it securely under a chin, and Shouyou curls further in on himself.

 

“It's okay to cry. Don't worry... we'll take care of things while you're asleep, so when you wake up, all you have to do is give us a smile, okay? _A real one, Shouyou._ ”

Nishinoya closes his eyes as well to bury his face in the younger boy's fiery orange locks, heart heavy as he drowns in the disconsolate cries of a boy, an older brother, who has not let himself grieve since his mother's death and is finally releasing his pain and sorrow to the dark cocoon of a desolate hospital room.

.

.

 .

_"It'll be okay."_

And he had never wanted to believe in anything more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so there will be a chapter 3, but it's mainly extra scenes that didn't make it in.


	3. EXTRAS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me thinking of ideas: WOOT! YES! BRAINSTORMING, GO!  
> Me actually writing out those ideas: ...
> 
> Well, point is, I finally got around to finishing this, so I hope you guys enjoy!

**Extra 1** – Sometime during Shouyou's interaction with Noya from Chapter 1

 

Before he can continue further on that train of thought, a buoyant voice interrupts jovially.

 

"Shouyou, how come I never knew about a little sister?" Nishinoya slings an arm around his kouhai's shoulders, leaning his weight against him as he ruffles the mass of curly hair. Turning his head to look at the ginger, he asks with a teasing grin, "Are you a good big brother?"

 

"Are you kidding, Nishinoya-san? This hyperactive kid? An 'onii-san'?" Tsukishima hides a mocking snicker behind his hand as Shouyou bristles and jumps out of his senpai's hold to hiss at Tsukishima in indignation.

 

"I mean, how can a child take care of another child?” Tsukishima places his hands on his hips as he throws his head back and outright cackles.

 

HAHAhahaha

 

(“Nice one, Tsukki!”)

 

* * *

**Extra 2** – An asshole gets a well-deserved punch

 

Kageyama throws the first punch. It's not something that he thought he would ever be tempted to do in defense of someone else, but as his fist digs into the _asshole's_ cheek, he can't think of anything else he'd rather be doing at this moment. Hinata's father lets out a grunt and stumbles back a few steps right before Tanaka rams into him, shouting in fury. Kageyama clenches his fists as he forces deep breaths in to calm himself, but every tense muscle in his body is still screaming for retribution despite how tired they are, and it's not until a heavy hand lands on his shoulder that he jolts.

 

“Kageyama. That's enough.” Daichi frowns, and though he knows that the majority of the expression isn't directed at him, he silently pacifies himself. It seems a lot easier with the calm presence of his captain by his side, though he knows that the calm is probably a forced facade for control. He glances over to Daichi's other side to see Tanaka, who looks like he's barely restraining himself from flying back at Hinata's father to give him another piece of him. Kageyama's mind is in too much of a disarray to read too closely into anybody else's actions right now, but he surmises that his upperclassmen are also aware that fighting back right now won't help anyone.

 

It's then that the sound of Nishinoya calling Hinata's name in hushed tones, steadily rising in panic, registers in his ears. He whirls around to check on the slumped figure of his friend on the ground and catches the unfocused gaze of dulled amber eyes moments before Hinata's eyes drift close. The rise and fall of his friend's chest tells Kageyama that Hinata's merely unconscious, but he feels numb.

 

Hinata hadn't seemed to recognize his own name.

 

* * *

**Extra 3** – Wait for the morning; the dawn will come

 

Kageyama comes to an awkward stop in the doorway of Hinata's room as Natsu barrels through the doorway of said person's hospital room. He feels slightly out of place, because _okay, he came to visit his friend, that's perfectly normal, right?_ It's just that he's never really shown this kind of outright concern for someone before! But this is his best friend. If there is anyone that he can be open to, it should be Hinata. He hadn't been able to sleep at all last night, kept awake by swirling, chaotic thoughts at what he had witnessed the day before. Guilt at previously never noticing his friend's situation plagued him, and he'd felt like throwing up whenever he remembered the sight of Hinata's blood and the sound of the crack when that–man, _monster_ , had landed the first blow. Hinata hadn't deserved something like that. Not him. He doesn't _ever_ deserve something like that. He's drawn out of his thoughts when Natsu squeals, a high pitched shriek.

 

“Nii-chan!” Her small, rounded face is brightly lit with delight, and she practically throws herself onto the bed, bouncing slightly from the springs as she clings to her brother's waist joyfully. Kageyama watches as Hinata ruffles her hair fondly, having sat up the moment she came into the room, and feels his own expression soften as affection makes its way through his heart. Hinata looks up at that moment, and his smile mirrors his little sister's as he motions for Kageyama to come into the room and stop leaning in the doorway.

 

He hesitates before stepping in, long strides bringing him next to Hinata in a matter of seconds. His face feels uncoordinated, his expression tense, and he doesn't know what to do with his hands as they fumble, but looking at Hinata's face, he feels his inhibitions melt away. His mouth curls down into a familiar scowl as he crosses his arms tightly, but his heart feels lighter and less full of grief as he falls back into the usual routine.

 

“What were you even thinking, you dumbass?” He sees Hinata's uneasy smile change into something more genuine at the uncultured opening line, tension lines that Kageyama hadn't even realized were there sliding away smoothly without leaving a trace behind. Hinata grins at him elfishly as he tilts his head slightly to the left, the movement barely noticeable.

 

“What do you mean, Kageyama? ...are you insinuating that you were worried for me? Awww, I knew you cared for me, Tobio! I love you too!” He crows, a mischievous tone in his voice, but Kageyama detects the underlying _thank you_ in the words.

 

 _I still am worried about you_ , he thinks, but he doesn't voice it aloud. Instead, he retorts, “Of course, you idiot! I can't play volleyball without you, remember?” When Hinata gives him a confused look, he adds, “As long as you're there, I'm invincible, right?

 

“So I need you to be there.”

 

A blush creeps up on his face when Hinata tears up after a moment of stunned silence, and he averts his gaze with the first sniffle, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his sweatpants. _I think I'm picking up Tanaka-san's weird habits._ He can feel his ears getting red, and he's wondering if he can escape without either sibling noticing to go die in a hole somewhere when his attention is drawn by a small tug on his sleeve. He turns back to Hinata, still entirely too aware of his own ears burning up, and is faced with a teary eyed, though slightly more composed middle blocker.

 

“Thanks, Kageyama.” It's shaky, cracked and full of relief, and Kageyama feels his embarrassment crumble in the face of the pure, honest-to-god happiness of it.

 

“Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These past few days have been so hot lately... (°□°）

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and please leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed!
> 
> PLEASE DO NOT CLAIM AS YOUR OWN WORK OR REPOST WITHOUT PROPER CREDIT GIVEN. (This applies to all online artists or writers. It's best to ask for permission first and to give credit where it's due- and absolutely do not claim others' work as your own).
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Haikyuu!! belongs to Furudate Haruichi.


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